About

Hi.  I'm Guy Ardito, a relationship coach for high achievers.

I've got a super-smart (and beautiful) wife, two neurodivergent sons, and have been coaching for nearly 30 years.

Why I do this

Because I know first-hand the pain of being a child of divorce as well as the pain of a marriage that feels lonely, unsupportive and even unloving.  I also know what it feels like to make it through those challenges and come out the other side!

Helping others, teaching and solving problems have been my three loves (obsessions?) since I was a kid, and helping couples navigate through choppy, even fearsome waters and back to love is the single most fulfilling thing I do.

My own background

Before dedicating myself full time to coaching I had a demanding career leading software development teams (for those interested: C, C++, Java, Objective C and Swift; and if you wanna' debate multithreading, method swizzling, or imperative vs OOP vs declarative, it's on!).  

I've lived through both the middle-management corporate grind and the unique pressures of startup life; experiences which give me a unique appreciation and perspective compared to most therapists and coaches.

My wife is an Ivy-grad with her own demanding career, and because she's had chronic pain since her PhD research I understand the toll that it can take on the sufferer, their spouse and their children.

Finally, both of our children are acutely neurodivergent (ODD, ADHD and autism spectrum) and I've had to handle IEPs, school suspensions, emotional meltdowns, difficulty making friends, medication shortages and lack of available therapists.

We've successfully made it through emergency deliveries, postpartum depression, mismatched libidos, disagreements over parenting approaches, layoffs, and my mother's long-term chronic illness with accordant eldercare and, finally, her passing.

Full disclosure: we've had our share of upsets, fights and ultimatums.  Probably more than our share.

But we DID make it through and are still together, loving and supportive!  

I would love the opportunity to support, train and guide you through your own marriage challenges to a place of connection, partnership and intimacy.

My philosophy

My philosophy of marriage success is based on five key choices/behaviors, all of which you can control!  

1. Choose your Marriage: You can’t give your best to work through major challenges when you’re actively flirting with divorce.  It's OK to have conditions and timeframes, but right here, right now you have to choose your marriage or choose divorce.  Sitting on the fence will only keep in you pain and get in the way of you doing the hard stuff.

2. Be Present: Turning around a challenged marriage requires time, energy and health.  You need time for your partner, energy to not just collapse at the end of the day, and health to both do things with your partner and do your share in the home.  Especially in middle age, health and time issues can lead to a major wedge in even the best marriages.  And more than just being necessary for turning a marriage around, the lack of time, energy and health are often what gets marriages into trouble in the first place.

3. We before Me: My approach is based on the foundational Christian principles of compassion, forgiveness and generosity.  As our culture becomes more “self-focused” it naturally becomes more difficult to compromise, much less yield.  In marriage you have to be “we” before “me” (that's "we", not "you").  However, that does NOT mean always or mostly denying yourself in service of your partner's wants and needs.  And speaking of which, there is never justification for physical or emotional abuse and they should never, ever (let me be clear: EVER) be tolerated.

4. Make it Great: Even the most compatible couples will, over time, face challenges.  And the reality is that people change over time, sometimes quite a bit, so marrying your "perfect match" doesn't mean you'll relate the same way in 15 or 20 years, especially under the strains of career, kids and health changes.  You have to actively and continuously choose to make your marriage great, evolving and adapting as necessary.

5. Find Joy: To get where you want to go, you have to experience and express joy.  I know, it can seem hard or even impossible right now.  But, the truth is that nobody wants to be with a negative or complaining partner.  Plus, negativity will  keep you from truly believing that your marriage can be great, inhibit you from doing what’s hard, and even keep you from recognizing when your marriage IS great.  Joy is personally transformative and expressed joy is contagious!  Remember: it's not enough to only feel internally, you also have to express it so those around you, especially your partner, can see your joy and be uplifted by it.

Trainings and Certifications

Master Coach, Robbins-Madanes Training

Divorce Prevention Specialist, Robbins-Madanes Training

SYMBIS Facilitator, Drs Les and Leslie Parrott

Breakthrough Specialist, Robbins-Madanes Training

NLP Master Practitioner, NLP Center of New York

Head Coach, Landmark Education